I have a new addiction:
Oh Man! Pinterest is a glorious life sucker-upper. I am so thankful my man is a gamer, because it allows me all the time in the world to PIN PIN PIN!
I have zero idea of how to describe Pinterest, except as : SUPERAWESOMEFUN! So I turned to my good friends at Wikipedia for some help. Here is what they say:
Pinterest (Pin-tũr-ĕst) is a vision board-styled social photo sharing website and app where users can create and manage theme-based image collections. The mission statement of Pinterest is to connect everyone in the world through shared tastes and the “things” they find interesting.
So, I am a pinning freakazoid. It is a problem, only tempered slightly by the fact that I actually USE some of these things.
And here is where it gets interesting. I USE some of these things! Below is the first (of I am sure many) amusing and slightly dismaying stories about my “Adventures in Pinterest”.
First Project: Homemade Biore Face Peel (aka Rip Your Face Off)
I want to give credit where credit is due. This tutorial was done at: www.petitelefant.com
This woman is my new freaking IDOL! Honestly, totally real and do-able crap on her site. I mean, she features Lee jeans, and they look fab. LOVE HER. GO THERE: GET YOUR MIND BLOWN!
Back to Rip Your Face Off. So I find this link on Pinterest: http://petitelefant.com/how-to-pore-strips/
Immediately I am intrigued on many levels, first pore strips are darn expensive and I am cheap. But the true reason I am snagged immediately is: THE GROSS FACTOR! Holy crap do I LOVE LOVE LOVE ripping those pore strips off and being all “OMG that is SO DISGUSTING!…..LOOK!!” People around me may not appreciate the show and tell that I offer, but then I say, get out of my house.
Also, two ingredients. Two. Ingredients. Even my lazy self can handle two ingredients.
The ingredients are:
Knox Gelatine and milk.
That’s it. You basicaly dump a packet of gelatin into a small microwave safe container, pour in 1.5 to 2 Tbspns of milk, mix it up, microwave it for 15 seconds, slap it on your face. That’s it. The tutorial said you have to put it on super fast before it hardens…I didn’t find that mine hardened up all that fast.
I was skeptical as to how this was going to work, but after having it on my face for just a few minutes, I felt it starting to harden and I knew…this was the BOMB!
I could feel my pores giving up the goods and shrinking in fear of this crazy compound I had slathered all over my face.
My girlfriend Leigh confirmed my suspicions that this shit was magic by saying “That would make a great Halloween mask.” Which left me wondering…why do I do this shit in front of other people?
ok, so the description of the results on the tutorial go like this
“Clean, practically hairless, with clean, dirt-free pores.”
HELLS YEA! Sounds great, right? Well, let me BEAUTYSPEAK this for you:
You are about to RIP YOUR DAMN FACE OFF!
My sense of security and allisrightwiththeworld shattered at about the same time as my face shattered. The unholy compound had completely dried and I foolishly tried to laugh at something.
MY FACE, MY FACE! HOLY SHIT MY FACE! I felt like my skin itself was cracking.
Oh crap, what have I done?
And then, I started to peel.
my face off.
Now, in hindsight, the words “practically hairless” should have been a good tip that this is not to be used on the upper lip. Or around your eyebrows….sigh.
let’s let that sink in for a minute….
I am just not that smart apparently. BUT, I was smart enough to STOP PEELING my skin off when I got around the eyebrow area. I washed that off, if I had not, I would be sporting the Whoopi Goldberg look and I would be using every last minute of my vacation time unwilling to show myself at work.
The tutorial shows the woman with a SMILE on HER FACE whilst peeling. Apparently she has no nerve endings in her face. Now, I am not calling her a liar, she just must be a lot tougher than I am. I am willing to accept that.
As I was peeling Leigh’s eyes were getting bigger and bigger and she started to sound a little panicked as she was saying “Your skin. It is red. You are turning BRIGHT RED. Wash it off. WASH IT OFF. RIGHT NOW!”
But I am no quitter.
My mom was a beautician, and she taught me early on “BEAUTY IS PAIN” generally followed by a thump to the head with a hair brush if I squirmed or cried to much during my hairbrushing.
I continued to peel…and whimper.
BEAUTY IS PAIN, BEAUTY IS PAIN, BEAUTY IS PAIN
I managed to get most of it off, washed off the rest that was to thin to peel, on my eyebrows or just to damn painful.
That shit WORKS!
My face is soft and smooth (and no longer pink after a good nights rest.)
I would do it again. But not for a while. I need time to recover.
Smooth and sassy survivor,